Having always said that the old 60s are the new 40s, I’m questioning whether leading-edge boomers (late 50s or early 60s) should really start having babies.
A 60-year-old Calgary woman was recently in the news because at this age, she just gave birth to twin boys and is one of the oldest women to give birth in Canadian history. After 43 years of trying to have children but without much success, Ranjit Hayer went to India twice for in-vitro fertilization after being told by doctors in Calgary that she was too old to become a parent. As a younger couple, the Hayers tried for decades to conceive naturally, enduring three miscarriages. In Canada, Hayer underwent surgery, reportedly after a doctor diagnosed a problem with her womb, but was still unable to carry a child to term.
According to The Toronto Star, Hayer’s age and her decision to seek in-vitro fertilization abroad and become pregnant after she was refused treatment in this country have raised ethical questions in minds of Canada’s medical community. Her own obstetrician, Dr. Colin Birch, voiced doubts telling the CBC that he couldn’t reconcile himself with the idea of a 60-year-old woman getting in-vitro treatment. “Sixty is not an optimal time to be gestating an offspring, not to mention caring for an offspring,” said Juliet Guichon, who teaches bioethics at University of Calgary’s faculty of medicine.
Having babies naturally is really God’s gift to mankind. But receiving in-vitro fertilization is capitalizing on science and medical advancements to make a long-time wish for would-be parents to come true. There’s nothing wrong with this since I know many determined couples who are now great parents thanks to this treatment. It’s challenging for women over 50 years old to receive in-vitro fertilization here in Canada because according to the medical community, there could be a lot of health implications for older women. There’s also the ethical issue of how long can the parents live to provide for their young children.
Boomers feel younger than their age, even for leading-edge boomers. However, before fulfilling their life-long dreams to have babies at 60, parents should first plan ahead for providing for their kids when they are growing up including their financial well being and education. It is irresponsible just to focus only on their desire to have children without thinking about the future of the kid(s). For a 60-year-old first-time mother, her child will be at university when she hits 80. Between 60 and 80, it is a long life stage for all of us to go through without any perils!
Yes, this is catching alot of questions out in the fields of life. I had my child at thirty six . Grateful the masters degree I received, time with my husband, some travel, and friends. Today I have friends whose children are seven and they are in their fifites..regrets no, but tired and for sure went through the adjustment, still do, of being independent all those years and late into the lifestyle of parenting. They have already asked me to sign on the dotted line that I will go with them to look at colleges when their children are ready…at least help in the travel plans, research, and driving those highways.. I didn’t sign up to drive, but yes to chat and research with them..support always.
I think that is the bottom line…we need at least three opinions outside of our friends and family when it comes to life changes. NO one can go through changes without a support team and still have a meaningul life that includes time with self. Best to her and her children. Natalie Caine, M.A. founder Empty Nest Support Services in 2003